High hopes

Me: Come with me.
Coworker: Where are we going?
Me: We’re going outside to have a fistfight.
Coworker: A what?
Me: A duel. To the death. Using only our fists.
Coworker: Oh my.
Me: Are you ready to kill me? Are you ready to take my life?
Coworker: Um.. I don’t think so.
Me: Well get ready. This does not end until someone dies.
Coworker: Why are we fighting?
Me: The winner will get all of this.
Coworker: All of what?
Me: This. My job. All of it. It’ll be a big promotion for you.
Coworker: So I can die slowly?
Me: Yes.
Coworker: Forget the duel. Just kill me now.

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